Within the framework of the "Petar Mandic" Endowment, on August 13, 2023, the fifth lecture on parenting was held as part of a parenting seminar. The speaker for the occasion was clinical psychologist Vlajko Panovic. The event took place at the Nova Varos City Library "Jovan Tomic".

Fifth Lecture on Parenting

The theme of the lecture was "Marital Conflicts and Their Resolving".

Dr. Panovic commenced this lecture by addressing the fundamental premises of marriage, subsequently emphasizing the essential postulates crucial for conflict avoidance.

Reasonableness in Giving

Dr. Vlajko Panovic drew a clear distinction between being a victim and making sacrifices. He highlighted that in marriage, one should provide something to the partner, but concurrently should not lose one's individuality in the relationship and must not merge with the other in an unhealthy manner. Instead, the union should preserve the distinctive qualities of marital partners.

Selection of a Marriage Partner

Dr. Panovic also underscored the practical necessity of choosing a marriage partner from a similar social class, religious standpoint and identity, and educational level, as empirical evidence suggests that such marriages tend to be more stable.

A particular emphasis was placed on the importance of knowing the partner's past before entering into a marital union.

Harmony and Peace

Throughout his presentation, Dr. Vlajko Panovic stressed that harmony and peace are more important than seeking justice. In this context, he pointed out that a considerable number of modern marriages resemble a battleground, emphasizing the need to carefully choose our words.

The essence of the problem lies in perceiving the partner as adversarial, which, according to Dr. Panovic, is a common occurrence in his practice. He cited instances where the desire to adapt to one's partner was overshadowed by responding to conflict situations with "packing one's bags" and returning to one's parents.

Parents' Influence on Children's Marriages

One of the topics Dr. Panovic addressed was the messages parents send to their married children, some of which can be beneficial for the marriage, while others can be extremely destructive.

The primary rule is that parents should not interfere in their children's marriages, except in cases of family violence.

Understanding Before Condemning

In addition to the message that "harmony in marriage is more important than justice", important messages conveyed by Dr. Panovic include "understanding before condemning" and "changing behavior that yields no results". Dr. Panovic noted that these three maxims are prominently displayed in his office and have proven highly beneficial for marital relationships.

With abundant real-life examples, Dr. Panovic offered practical advice to the attending young parents on understanding family life, mechanisms of marital conflicts, and ideas for avoiding and overcoming them in case they have already arisen.

Following the lecture, a fruitful discussion and exchange of opinions took place, where attendees shared their views, uncertainties, and questions. The lecturer, drawing on his rich clinical experience in resolving marital conflicts, responded in a accessible and comprehensible manner, providing examples that clearly reflected his expertise in the field.